I was doing some mentoring this past weekend and staff issues came up - as they always do.
I asked about 1:1s and I realised that this person was being a manager, rather than a leader. We started talking and I thought I would share some of the insights that I got from our conversation.
Rules were meant to be broken
Do what works for you and your staff. Learn from them. Learn from yourself.
Treat your staff the way you want to be treated
Look at your best and worst experiences. Do more of the good and less of the bad. Be brutally honest with yourself. Was it a bad experience because it was a painful, but useful lesson, or was your manager just bad at their job?
1:1s aren’t a nice to have - they are required, at least for you to offer them
If you’re not having regular 1:1s with your staff, start as soon as you can. Expect the same of any people leaders reporting to you.
Schedule enough time
When I have a reasonable sized team I book a 30 min slot each fortnight (that’s every two weeks for our American friends!) with my staff. I then block out the next 30 minutes so they don’t feel rushed. Yes, that is 1 hour for each of your direct reports.
Make time for people who aren’t your direct reports.
Some people call them “Office hours”, whatever you call it, schedule the time and then make time for your people.
The times are sacrosanct. Don’t reschedule on your staff.
This is one of the most important rules. You are making yourself available for your staff and showing them that they are important. Don’t accept conflicting meetings. Set this rule early and stick to it and your colleagues will understand. If your staff needs to reschedule, be as flexible as you can. Sometimes you will have to reschedule, apologies, explain and most of time time they will understand.
This is not a management meeting, this is their time
Another important rule. If you are a people leader you should know on what your staff are working. 1:1s are NOT yet-another work meeting.
The 1:1 is for your staff to discuss what is important to them. I’ve had staff cry, I’ve had staff come out, discuss mental health issues, upcoming sports events, ask me what I thought about business strategy, discuss job offers from competitors. It’s all on the table. Don’t drive the meeting. Let your staff be comfortable. It might take some time, but trust them.
1:1s are confidential
What you discuss in the 1:1 is between you and the staff member. You have to work with this person for a third of your work week. They need to be able to vent about other people at work. You might listen. You might have coping strategies. You don’t, EVER, use this against them.
1:1s are good for feedback
As in the point above, as 1:1s are confidential, you can use them for constructive feedback. Help the person grow in their role. If you want to discuss something that wasn’t right, don’t blame. Discuss what you saw, how it impacted others and then try to get the person to discuss their actions. Talking objectively allows us to see our actions with a cool head.
Take feedback
Ask each of your staff if the format is working for them, and what they would change. I had one staff member that we went for a walk and a coffee, another just wanted to be in the office, get the meeting done and then back to the day. Some like meetings early in the day, some like them later. Some want shorter meetings (keep the full hour blocked - you might even get some time for yourself!). Work with them.